Character Analysis: oh no oh no all the feelings

[vulpine_hijinx]

Okay okay so it's only been like less than an IC day but I needed to get out all of this for the people who aren't as familiar with Sabra but who are/may be interacting with Kaito in the future.

Okay so what is up with your character's crazy?

Basically, in short, Kaito was not built for Sabra and Sabra had its way with him and terrible things and trauma has kind of warped him from the kind of character he originally was. Somewhat. Specifically, this involved the fun-filled thing of multiple personalities.

Now, first, I want you all to understand that the whole personality thing isn't full-on DID. It is something a but more subtle--or was in its beginnings. If you go to this post you can get a summary of all the essays and such that have explained how the personalities came about, how Kaito/Jinx/Kid have dealt with things, and the impact of games, Mirror, his team, and Sabra in general have had on him!

For an explanation for what's going on with him now... well.



This is Kaito around Day 239 of Sabra La Tau--that is about 70 days+ before its end. Essentially, as you can see, in his subconscious were three distinctive personalities. These were split along the lines of memories by Mirror when she was fixing the damage that he did to himself when saving his team from a terrible death in a game waaaaaaaaaaay back in Day 90-something. In other words, Kaito has been like this for a very very long while by this point. Over time, there were some power plays by the personalities vying for more dominance and even for more roles in games and whatever. But when Kaito was taken by the earth (the Old Man) around Day 201, they had to stop their squabbling and basically work together to GET HIM OUT OF THERE. Which took 39 days. And only with Mirror's help to escape even then.

This basically reset things to the above picture's point.

And then Sabra happened and all the antics started up again.

To the point that by the time Endgame started to rear its ugly head, the personalities were a LOT more distinctive. Especially since he had to explain to a couple of people WTF IS WRONG WITH HIM--and acknowledging the separation is enabling it further in a way. Combine that with Aoko arriving and thus driving him to determine what Aoko does and does not know. Aoko does not know about Kid--thus Kid gets separated out from Kaito and Jinx. Aoko doesn't know all of the terrible things that have happened to/because of Jinx--thus Jinx gets separated out from Kaito. Etc...

Basically, coping mechanisms that Kaito originally have of using masks and FAKER SMILES went awry because Mirror ruined everything by breaking him a whole lot.

So you've got this guy with three personalities, and one of them has basically played hardball a number of times--willingly choosing to send teams and individuals to be maimed and murdered and butchered in order to spare himself and his team. Now this guy manages to survive ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS THAT WAS BAD END AU OF SABRA LA TAU AND GETS HOME WITH HIS DETECTIVES, THEIR PEOPLE, AND HIS GIRLFRIEND everything is wonderful and there is a sky and he and the once-small-now-big-again detective are plotting to work in tandem to destroy the organization they're both after. All is going well! Super traumatized and needing to take time to recover and depressed because people he knew and cared about in Sabra could be dead--but he has Aoko. And she is pretty much everything and she has, at this point, accepted that he's been broken and trauma'd and isn't the same person he was before but loves him still.

And then someone takes a shot at him and Aoko takes the bullet when she sees the laser trace on him.

And then she dies in his arms.

And then her murderer was also the murderer of Kaito's father.

And then Jinx completely loses his shit.

This is the state that Kaito turns up in Thusia in. He has literally just escaped a hellish experience that was Sabra La Tau, broken and traumatized but somewhat functional. But then he had the one person who means the most to him die in his arms by the SAME PERSON WHO KILLED HIS FATHER, the whole reason he became Kaitou Kid--a vigilante--and eventually went to Sabra La Tau for. To catch this guy and his organization and BRING THEM TO JUSTICE. And, of course, it was all Kaito's fault that Aoko followed him to Sabra and all Jinx's fault that he couldn't protect her and all Kid's fault for starting this all in the first place--except no, it's Kaito's--no, Jinx's--FUCK IT. FIXING THIS NOW.

Which yeah. Snake, the murderer, is killed. A shot to the chest and a more personal shot to the face later to ensure death--and then just as Jinx was turning back to Aoko's body, on the lookout for any other people from the organization--sniped from behind.

Essentially, everything that could go wrong? Went wrong.

And even when he arrives in Thusia, his only hope of Aoko still being alive is crushed when Shinichi, who lived up to a year after Kaito's death before kicking the bucket, flat-out tells him all the details of the murder investigation. Which is why Jinx later pretty much just goes after Shinichi--but it's much less a wanting to beat his face in and more because SHINICHI IS THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY UNDERSTANDS JUST WHAT WENT DOWN. And... yes. Feelings and things... they are being worked through.

Now with Jinx... he's a bundle of issues. Since the very beginning of his time in Sabra, Jinx has never never wanted to hurt anyone. It goes against the kind of person he was and he did not want to turn into something he wasn't. This, of course, developed into a bit of a martyr complex where he would have been willing to throw games to spare other people--except then Orion's punishment game with Surgeon happened and Blanks learned the lesson of THROW GAMES AND YOUR TEAM WILL SUFFER. And at this point, Jinx was continuously accused of not caring enough about his team, and he just. Couldn't do that to them.

After Mirror's breaking and then fixing of his psyche, though, Jinx was returned from her realm smack in the middle of a terrible Game Master game, involving teams choosing cards to play on other teams for points. Ophiuchus, the black team, would go around carrying out the punishments the cards had. Food takes, broken arm, a raptor, instant death, slow death are a few examples of the cards played. Jinx, recently returned, had to relearn everything he--not Kid and Kaito--knew from scratch. And most of what he learned, it was from this game and the events that happened between rounds. Because of this, Jinx turned out to be a lot more willing to play hardball and Do Whatever Necessary To Keep People Important To Him Safe.

It's this lesson that has made Jinx the more unstable personality and also what leads to events such as killing the three people who, during a Persona (Wonderella) game, entered his heart and, because of Trickster (one of the most cruel Judges known in Sabra)'s addition of "kill something with a face or voice", were supposed to damage him. Jinx CANNOT tolerate any more damage to the rest of him--he can and will take the damage, but he cannot allow any chance for Kid or Kaito to be damaged--so he killed the three people who entered by dropping them into nightmares and giving Red a puzzle box that ultimately killed him when solved.

Slowly over time, this is the type of personality Jinx has become. He is constantly afraid, constantly paranoid, and constantly on-edge about people's intentions--basically think like Scowl levels only not as completely aware of his own psychosis, since Kid and Kaito (the personalities formed from memories BEFORE Sabra--the thief and the magician) often are able to reign him in and keep him on the right side of things.

And then Aoko died in Kaito's arms and the killer was Snake.

Kaito and Kid literally could not cope.

So Jinx did what he always did--and took the damage on himself by killing the bastard.

And this causes a bunch of damage because Jinx... has a HUGE hang-up about being seen as a cold-hearted killer. He played in Sabra's games. EVERYONE who has played in a game has made terrible decisions that have gotten someone killed. He is not an exception. Accidents happened. And a lot of his reasons were SELF-DEFENSE. But there were people such as Mitsuru of Orion who continued to view him as a crazed murdering type and would warn his teammates and partners of this--to the point that Jinx was faced by people with suspicion and distrust. Throw in the whole Mirror Stockholms issues and Jinx has constantly been under suspicion and watch AND IT'S NOT HIS FAULT. So he tells himself. It's not his fault he ended up like this, he never wanted to hurt anyone, it's not his fault, he got pushed up against a wall and Kid and Kaito can't take the damage--

So the fact that he purposefully and willingly killed Snake up-close-and-very-much-personal is having a heavy impact on him. He tells himself that he's not a murderer, except his actions in that instance tells him he is, but no, there was a reason for that--the bastard deserved it and what else could he do? He would have been killed--he was killed--

And then arrived in a place where he didn't recognize anyone and Aoko's not there, Aoko's not there, Aoko's not there she died in his arms...

So. Yes. Jinx is very much unstable. He knows he is. HE CANNOT COPE.

Kaito is still functional largely because Red and others have been shoring up his hope that if he arrived here when he died, Aoko might too one day... or if she doesn't, isn't that better? No one's really slapped him in the face with SHE DIED TO SAVE YOUR LIFE yet, so he's not... sure how to feel about being alive. He's not suicidal but he's not all there either. He just finds it really hard to care, except Red basically pointed out to him that it's their roles to keep smiling on and helping the others who might be worse off than them. (They have hilariously similar coping habits...) Ignore the mess in the corner that is Jinx NOT COPING. Distract other people from it even though they kind of already saw...

Kid... has been pretty much quiet since the whole thing happened. White noise, basically, at the back--somewhere near around where Jinx is NOT COPING. But it's more because he's not sure. What to do. He's the personality that's always the most difficult to spot because he's the in-between for Jinx and Kaito and he's the one who's trying to get Jinx back up and functioning except how? Why? What for? Kid's no longer needed. Everything's wrapped up. And he failed to destroy Pandora--the gem that Snake and his organization were after. It was all in vain. He went to Sabra for nothing except to end up in Thusia. So yeah. He's just with Jinx in the NOPE NOT COPING YET corner, except he may recover a lot sooner than Jinx.

With all this explained...

So why doesn't he just pick one name over the other (re: Kaito or Jinx)?

This is a condition that's been in effect for AGES in Sabra. Basically, Jinx's way of determining which personality should be dominant when. If people call him Kaito, clearly they want Kaito. If they call him Jinx, clearly they want Jinx. If they refuse to call him anything at all, they probably get Kid--the exception being for people like Hydra and Vulpecula for whom he is Jinx. Because Jinx is theirs by virtue of Sabra memories being Jinx. So when people ask him which he prefers, he can't really answer. It goes outside the rules, even while one of them is very much not FUNCTIONAL.

So yeah. I lolz when superheroes say Jinx is a badass name. Rofl rofl rofl.

That's not to say that this is where full-blown DID is happening--it's just where it's more apparent. The only reason Kaito doesn't have full-on DID is because all of the personalities observe and remember what is going on around them--they just have different perspectives. Kaito also is aware that something like that is going on but he's constantly at a loss to explain. He actually let Shinichi observe what was going on in his head once, and it was VERY MUCH NOT OKAY with him. It creeped him out and it's unsettling and he is terrified about the whole AM I REALLY THAT CRAZY?! aspect and still... pretty in denial about how severe it is/has gotten. So Kaito continues on with the NOPE NOT COPING DISTRACTION DISTRACTION DISTRACTION that is his coping mechanism. For the most part, people just. Leave him to it. '-'

... and that's pretty much it right now. I'm all essayed out '-'


Questions? Comments? LOLOL OH JEVA NO ONE CARES YOU'RE ADORABLE /HEADPATS?

ETA: Oh. And. Btw. Thanks to Rabi reminding Kaito of a story he told of a thief who stole from the sky and eventually won the love of the sky while Kaito is still reeling from everything--welp. Aoko = blue child = sky.

'-' All the They Took the Sky From Me issues because in Sabra La Tau, games never showed a real sky. No one ever saw a sky except in their memories. This is why a lot of Sabra folk are constantly bemoaning the fact that they're stuck in some building--THEY WANT TO BE OUTSIDE, THEY WANT TO SEE THE SKY, I DON'T CARE I'M STILL FREE YOU CAN'T TAKE THE SKY FROM MEEEEEEE. So yes. There's THAT issue because KAITO GOT TO SEE THE SKY for a brief, brief so painfully brief time... for the FIRST TIME IN 240+ DAYS.

And then of course. Aoko. Dying. Yes. '-' Skyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Red basically told the aforementioned story to distract Kaito from TERRIBLE GAME/REVIVAL after his first death the games--eaten alive by terapedes (he WILL flip out if there's one anywhere--even Dera's, though he's. mostly. just safety distance with that one). Later on, Aoko died in her first game and Kaito told her that story which was... way more awkward but no less important to him ._.

Once upon a time, there was a thief. He was so accomplished in his skill, he was known as the King of Thieves. No one knew his face, his look, even his age.

No one knew he was a young man, so small and round faced that he still looked as a boy to many.

But this thief was bored of stealing normal things. To steal a jewel was nothing to him. To take money was too simple. He wanted a challenge. So he thought long and hard about what it was he wanted to steal.

He decided to steal the sun.

So one day he followed the sun. It rises in the east and sets in the west. He walked westward every day, trying to find where the sun came to rest. Days and days passed.

He grew in age. Three years he spent, chasing the sun. But he didn't give up. Because it was something he knew he could posses.

And then one day he found it, a small, simple hole in the earth. And the sun came to rest in that hole, becoming smaller and smaller the closer it got to its resting place. Until it was only the size of his fist.

So he took the sun, and it was his. The next day, there was no sunrise or sunset. Because he had taken it.

He kept the sun for three days. For three days, there was no sunrise. On the morning of the forth day, he threw the jewel in to the sky as hard as he could. He felt a little sad to see it go. As it gave him light and it gave him warmth, a kind of light that enchanted and a warmth that made him content. But he could not keep it.

It rose higher into the sky and again there was sunrise.

But when the sunset that night, his pocket felt heavy. It had returned to him. He now truly had the sun.

But he was already not satisfied. If I have the sun, then I would like the moon too, he thought. As I am a thief without limits and there is nothing I cannot have. So he set off in search of the moon now. But every morning he woke early, to throw the sun into the sky so that the world could know the light and warmth he himself was so fond of.

And this time it only took a year to find the moon. In a cave on the seashore, he found a strange thing. It was like a round, flat piece of glass. But it did not shine, no matter how he polished it. It was dull and lifeless without a bit of glimmer. He waited. Sure enough at nightfall it disappeared from its cave. And little by little, sliver by sliver, it began to shine as the days passed. Because the moon lives in phases. Where it is nothing then grows to fullness, then fades to nothing again.

So he took the moon and when his pocket grew heavy with the sun, he would release the moon to the night sky.

He now had the sun and the moon. What else could he steal?

The stars.

And the time it took was even shorter still. And he found the darkest place, the darkest cave. Deepest down in the earth. This is where the stars rested when the sky was bright. They sparkled like diamonds and he gathered then all, as they were quite small. Sparkling and dazzling. And he would set them free with the moon every night.

So he thought he had it all. And he was no longer a thief so he thought, but keeper of the sky. So he thought. He traveled because he liked to be on the move.

But then one day he walked on what seemed to be the edge of the horizon. It was steep and dangerous and he liked it that way. But as he walked that edge, like a man would a tightrope, that's when he saw what he wanted to steal next.

She was beautiful. The most beautiful girl he had ever seen. And as he drew close, he saw the most glorious, beautiful sight.

Her eyes. They were blue as the sky and grey as the sky and as they talked and her temper sparked they were as thunderstorms and when he warmed her heart they were as sunset with warm reds and oranges and no jewel or the sun or the moon or the stars were as glorious as her eyes.

"Are you the sky?" He finally asked. Because he believed in fantastic things. And if he could steal the moon and the stars and the sun then just as easily the sky could come to him on this horizon where sky meets earth.

"Yes." She said. As it was true. She was the sky. He didn't know why she came to him now.

"Are you angry?"

"Three days I spent without warmth. On the forth day I planned to strike you down. Thunder to deafen your ears and light to strike you dead. Because the world cannot be without light and warmth. But as you gave back the sun, I hold no grudge. You only carry what is mine when I cannot use it. You dutifully and willingly send back to me the only things I truly own."

"I am a thief but I am not greedy."

"You lie."

"You caught me, I do have one greed. A lust for a challenge. Dear lady who is the sky, I feel challenged right now. Because what I wish to steal next is your heart."

He reached for her hand but somehow she stayed out of reach.

"Boy, you think you can possess me was well? There is only one way you can win my heart."

"Anything, anything to be the one you love."

"As I am the Sky, you be the Earth. We will be side by side forever. You will steal from me, as there is nothing I can keep but the stars and the sun and the moon. All things in the end are yours. Every bird and insect and the drops of rain come to be yours in the end. So you must remain a thief of all eternity. You must take from me. But you must give back, as an empty sky is sad and lonely. And we can only meet where the edges meet. So it is a lonely love we will share, because you must continue your travels and find me when you can."

And without hesitation he accepted this. Because he could be a thief for eternity. But he could also give to her, and his head already swam with all the things he wanted her to have. Birds and butterflies and falling leaves taken by the wind to swirl above the heads of people like a dance. For all he took he would give back better. So that he could come to find her and look into her eyes and see the sunset.

The two kissed and embraced and that night they laid together. In the morning she was gone.

So the thief who was now the Earth itself traveled onward, throwing the sun to the sky and knowing that above him was a reflection of his beloved's eyes. And that their lonely love was not so lonely as she thought. Because he looked at her always and she always looked down on him. And he planted trees to reach up to her and flowers to help feed the butterflies and he rescued eggs and charmed orphaned birds.

And every once in a while he found an edge, a place he could call a horizon. And those days were the most joyous and she would love him and praise him for all he gave. And he would praise her for her beauty and kindness and for giving them rain and warmth and life.

Comments

[larcenous]

[vulpine_hijinx]

;;

[larcenous]

It's okay Jinx she still loves you.